The Post Game Show

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Hockey Check, 1-2, 1-2

Well for the few who actually like hockey, the sport has resolved its labor woes, and the NHL will be back on ice for the '05-06 season.

Why Should You Care?

Well for one, what about those lonely fall nights when basketball isn't quite back on the hardwood for real, the World Series just ended, and it's not a Sunday or Monday night? Yep, hockey will be a good way to pass the time. I can see the slogan now: "The NHL: because you can't implore your spouse to make love every single night!"

Also, the new rule changes will take effect to make the game cleaner, faster, and much more comprehensive. So that means those damned New Jersey Devils and their Russian-style trap defense (defence in Canadian) is about to be out of style faster than Eriq LaSalle's curl in "Coming To America." Basically, more goals will be scored due to goalies not being able to wear the kitchen sink, the absence of ridiculous off-sides calls, and less room behind the net for goalies to show their wanderlust skills.

Those are the only two reasons I can think of, but who else is picking the Pittsburgh Penguins to win the Stanley Cup? I am, and I'm a Colorado Avalanche fan for Goodness' Sakes! Not only do they have one of the all-time greats playing and owning the team ("Super" Mario Lemieux), but they have the draft rights to this kid who allegedly is the next Wayne Gretzky, and his name is Sidney Crosby. 5'11, 200 pounds, super-quick with the puck and a well-spoken young man, who although speaks English, decided to learn French while playing for a juniors team in the province of Quebec. How "awww, what a good kid" is that? So Super Mario and the Cros...I don't give a damn what other problems the Pens have, they can outscore everyone and win the Cup. I'll make a more informed predicition when the time calls for it.

But for now, the words "He shoots, he scores," will return to the North American lexicon this fall, for better or for worse to some folks. In this all-around sports fan's case, it's for the better. Now where's my red light and horn?


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