The Post Game Show

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Just for the night so we can get right....

The precociousness of children is something I find to be one of God's greatest gifts. They ask questions like it's nothing and will be honest just because it's in their nature. You gotta love the "why" questions and the "because" answers pre-school aged children are good for. Surely, we all asked our parents why the sky was blue and/or where do babies come from, and got answers that we didn't figure out were wrong until we were old enough to find things out on our own.

So allow me to relive childhood one time and ask a question that bothers me to no end; Why do jump-offs try to get friendly with me? Oh wait, the new term for side jawns, jump-offs, and smuts is now "Get Right," courtesy of a co-worker. So yeah, one of my current roommate's Get Rights is trying to get friendly with me, but I must set this story up correctly. One of the new female friends I made recently is this gorgeous chocolate girl who's silly as all hell. So as I was leaving work one day last week, she says to me "my girl says you're mean to her." And I'm scratching my head as if Superhead sat on it, trying to figure out when I met one of her friends. She says "Get Right, she messes with your roommate...she's stupid, she's not the only one he messes with." In other news, water is still wet, shit still stinks, and Bush is stil an idiot.

Gorgeous chocolate girl says that I don't speak to Get Right when she's in the apartment, and that makes her uncomfortable. Well clearly, I make it a rule to never speak to my roommates' paramours, just out of common courtesy. Definitely don't want anyone's sloppy seconds or my roommates thinking that I do. So lo and behold I get a friend request on that college student crack known as Facebook, and who is it? Get Right. So my curiosity got the best of me, and I asked why I got the request treatment. In so many words, she said I give her the "why is this bitch here" look (which is my regular look; I never smile) and that she wants to be friends with his roommates.

Perplexed and wondering if I was indeed being a meanie, I had to run this by my guidance counselor in the endeavors of not being stank, Veronica, and she found it uproariously funny that ol' girl was trying to be chummy with her lover man's roommates. So it ain't just me, y'all.

I'd never throw salt in my roommate's game by letting Get Right now that she clearly ain't the only one to walk out of his room adjusting her bra and drawers with the hoodie, sweatpants and Chinese Slippers on, or as V called it "The Walk of Shame." But clearly, jump-offs don't understand their boundaries anymore. You're there to get dug out by dude and let that be that. No speaking to the roommate, who clearly wouldn't mind a little action, but minds his own business.

Part of me still wonders if I'm being mean, and the old me would chalk it up to the no-nonsense gene handed down from my grandfather. One of the things my grandmother said to me often, which probably endeared me to her the most, was that I reminded her of her husband, the man who was brutally murdered eight years before I was born. James "Bud" Stevens, was a man who was about business, and didn't take kindly to nonsense. I guess that's where my middle name comes from.

However, back to the quandry at hand. I ask you, faithful and sporadic readers of The Post Game Show, is your boy being stank? Could he just bite the bullet of envy and speak to the Get Rights that frequent his apartment? Or is he right in the "do you, and I'll do me" vein? Help me understand what I'm doing wrong, if I'm doing anything wrong. Maybe if I was getting right, I wouldn't be so uptight, who knows?

10 Comments:

  • At 9:52 PM, Anonymous KLC said…

    This is hilarious, Chris!
    Hmmm ... I say speak to them. Can't hurt. So why not. Nothing bad ever came from being friendly, right? Yes, you say? Oh well. Let's pretend otherwise. So go for it.

     
  • At 10:17 PM, Blogger Vdizzle said…

    This has been another episode of "Hoes Running Wild."
    Next week will be about Get Rights who call your cell during business hours and/or during the first half of the week.
    Stayed tuned!!
    Do not speak to her ass! What the hell for? Bitch, know yo role!

     
  • At 2:55 PM, Anonymous CNEL said…

    "why is this bitch here" look (which is my regular look; I never smile)

    You too? HaHa. I always get accused of mean mugging.

    "Part of me still wonders if I'm being mean, and the old me would chalk it up to the no-nonsense gene handed down from my grandfather."

    Up with the no-nonsense.

    "Or is he right in the 'do you, and I'll do me' vein?"

    Absolutely right. What you got to say to her?

    "Maybe if I was getting right, I wouldn't be so uptight, who knows?"

    LoL ^ That's funny!

     
  • At 5:34 PM, Anonymous J Long said…

    Nothing wrong with speaking, but she's might be trying to get to know you so she can get the inside info on ya boy.

    Just a thought.

     
  • At 8:45 PM, Blogger T Dot said…

    Where do you find these women? Imma say speak. Like Kells said, it can't hurt. I mean, and besides her seeing more traffic than the Holland Tunnel, she might be a nice person. You might make a friend. And if nothing else, at least you're treating her as you would like to be treated if you showed up to a girls room in your draws and sweatpants to dig her out on the regular. Common courtesy - just do it.

     
  • At 11:38 PM, Blogger M-Dubb said…

    Chris, speaking to a jump-off is like dancing with the cockeyed fat girl who smells like badussy at the school dance. Everybody knows you're only doing it because of how great you are.

    That shyt rubs off.

    Watch how many hoes you get on your jock simply from being nice to Ms. Tues-booty. (I decided to call jumpoffs "dayoftheweek"-booty because they only come around as often as the weeks change.)

     
  • At 9:52 AM, Blogger jameil1922 said…

    a simple what's up is fine. but friend requests and getting chummy? she's definitely trying to get the inside info on your roommate and is also way oversteppin her bounds. know ya role. come on now.

    get dug out? vomit. you are too wrong and dirty for that.

     
  • At 11:22 AM, Blogger journiemajor said…

    On one hand, she's stupid for thinking that she's more than the jump-off and somehow has a "right" to be spoken to by her sex buddy's friends/roommates. Cuz, correct me if I'm wrong guys, ya'll typically don't respect the jump-off as much as you do a potential girl, or even just a friend. But yeah, I guess some of us think birds of a feather flock together, and that ya'll talk, so she might be trying to up her role by getting the info from you, so she's stupid on that note as well. But on the other hand, what's wrong with being a nice person and saying hello from time to time. You ain't gotta talk to her about how her life and how her mama's doin and stuff, but you don't have to be completely stank to her.

    Now I hear you about the insane thought that if you talk to her, you might want her. But that's usually something girls deal with, not guys. Some people think you want them when you talk to them, and some people think you're jealous and want them and that's why you don't talk to them. You're damned if you do and you're damnned if you don't.

     
  • At 4:19 PM, Blogger Duck said…

    Talia and Marlon are out of order.

    That is all.

     
  • At 2:19 AM, Blogger spchrist said…

    Dude. You are under no obligation to speak to a jump off in YOUR sanctuary (if I'm reading this entry correctly) unless she's violating your personal space or eating your food. Do you really want to keep track of your roommate's jumpoffs because it sounds like he's got an assembly line going? The more you speak to jumpoffs the more likely you are to accidentally reveal information on your roommate or get used by said jumpoff to spy/carry news on your roommate. Best policy avoid her like she's got a STD.

     

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