The Post Game Show

Thursday, February 14, 2008


9 years ago around this time, I was hopeful. In my senior year at Howard High School of Technology, I finally felt like Valentine's Day was going to be for me and me alone. A girl that I had been chasing for the better part of three years finally seemed to be warming up to me beyond the friend stage, as she said "sure, we can get together on Valentine's Day!" Boy, was I in for the shock of my life. Friday night, at a basketball game, I met her there and asked her what the plan was for the weekend, but she had that shifty-eyed look and kept saying "Ummmm, I dunno." I had to get back to the box seeing as I was recording the games for the basketball coach at the time, and I told her I'd catch up with her later.

Later resulted in her kissing another dude and not even trying to hide it as she came into my sight at halftime. That was my Charlie Brown football moment. I had been her friend forever, felt like something else was developing, and I ended up flat on my back. I later found out that during our "friendship," she was pretty much HHST's jump-off Du Jour with everyone from football and basketball players to IT nerds. Everyone but me. Amazing.

Since that day, I've held feelings of contempt and sadness for Valentine's Day (ain't a damn thing Saintly about it!) and if anyone is really wondering why I detest women trying to be my friend, that story is THE REASON.

This morning has gone reasonably well so far. It snowed, the morning meeting at the job was canceled, so I'm chilling, eating green grapes and listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show when this brother from Florida writes in and asks if Steve can help him declare his love for his girlfriend of 10 years to the world. Normally I'd turn off the radio, but as my post about Michelle Obama indicates, I feel a little differently about love and romance than I have in previous years. I turned it up.

So Steve reads this letter, gets the brother and his girl on the phone, and she has one of those high pitched sista voices (you know the once) and when she greeted him with "Hi, bebe," all peppy and full of energy, I was like "o.k., this ain't fake." So not only does he pledge his decade-long love and affection to her for about 30 million listeners to hear, he proposes. She squeals and giggles with delight and says yes. I get misty-eyed...that ain't supposed to happen.

I guess the point of this entry is that another epiphany has struck. While I was chasing this girl who seemed to have a penis-seeking radar in her drawers, this cat was building something long-lasting and meaningful with his girlfriend and now it has resulted in an eventual wedding day. The stories contrast so much as to how people find mates and the loves of their lives that you can never really compare your story to someone else's or try to pinpoint when your time will come. You just have to keep it together and be ready for when that time comes.

I think of 26 as being something terribly old and bordering on male-spinster territory, like I'm gonna have an apartment full of cats or something in a minute. Instead, this is proving to be the right age for me to get myself together. Since I've turned 26, I've gotten my first job in my field, an apartment, I maintain all my bills *knocks on wood* and nobody lives here but Chris. I've also had different experiences with women down here to let me know that the behind-closed-doors part of my game is on point, and more importantly, I'm still a decent person. All of those characteristics, no matter how much I weigh or how unattractive I may feel aesthetically, will always have a place in the world.

So it's up to me to close the door on my past and start working towards the future. The time is now for me to start living for today, living for myself and realizing that not every woman is the devil incarnate. While I won't be looking to be married anytime soon, the truth of the matter is, I need to start finding ways to meet women in person and spend time with them to see not only what I want in a woman, but what I can give to a woman as well.

So o.k., for the 26th consecutive year, I have no Valentine, but I guess the greatest gift I could ever get is the gift of realizing that only you can change your situation. It's a gift that's probably been sitting around unopened for some time now, but now that it is, I've got to make good use of it.

Happy Valentine's Day, y'all.


  • At 5:43 AM, Blogger jameil1922 said…

    "Everyone but me." that sounded forlorn and i'ma need you to be glad you escaped the endless disease possibilities.

    yay for change, optimism and black love!

  • At 11:33 AM, Blogger La said…

    what you just discovered is what's missing from most pursuits; the desire to build. It's easy to meet someone, let yourself fall for them. It's harder to maintain it. It takes work to build something solid and forever. But the desire to do so, I think, is more than half the battle

  • At 9:22 PM, Blogger Brittany_83 said…

    great post. my favorite "like I'm gonna have an apartment full of cats or something in a minute."


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