The Post Game Show

Saturday, April 12, 2008

I've got a crush on you

Monday is usually a day reserved for the blues, the first day of the week, a long and hard fall back to the reality of working and paying bills after a glorious weekend of doing absolutely nothing or having a blast doing everything.

For me, Mondays mean something to look forward to. After a long (or not) day of work, I usually walk into a certain restaurant on Route 235, shortly after the Big Four at Four on Live in the den with Big Tigger on WPGC. With my taste buds and stomach focused on my typical Monday dinner, there's a barrier I have to get over. But it's one I don't mind staring down.

This barrier in particular might be 5'2 on a good day, petite to the point of size zeroness, but still working with something up top and down bottom, deep dark brown eyes, coffee brown skin, her black hair always in curls, and her smile, not something she shows all the time but when she does, it's a girlish version of the eighth wonder of the world; so cute, so happy-go-lucky, so...damn. She asks for my order, She gives, I grab, and that's our interaction.

Oh, how I wish there was more. You see, this waitress, as I've so eloquently described her to y'all, is fine. DAMN fine. However, as is the case with most pretty women -- scratch that -- ALL women I see in person, I freeze up. Like my throat literally closes up, my heart rate increases, I'm looking around everywhere but where my focus needs to be; on said woman.

It's all another cruel case of me being proficient at using my fingers to do my talking but becoming virtually helpless at expressing anything with the mouth and voice God gave me. Talk about stunting your own growth.

At 26, I really shouldn't be this socially retarded, but that's something I take the blame for. Instead of running and hiding behind a computer screen, I should've taken my chances, gotten hurt and moved on from it like normal guys do. Instead I'm missing an opportunity to at least practice approaching women in person by being afraid of what this girl might say.

Well, at least she's earned a nickname. Because of her profession and because it's one of my favorite songs right now, she shall now be known as Customer Cutie. After all, I am her customer every Monday, but would I love to switch roles and serve her? You know it.

Now if only I could ask her how her day is going.


  • At 9:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Aw, Chris. Start small. Ask her how her day is going. And do you leave a 20 percent tip? heheh.

    Nat Nat

  • At 10:05 PM, Blogger Duck said…

    I know EXACTLY how you should start the conversation.


    Works EVERY time. Trust me. :-)

  • At 4:54 AM, Blogger Jarrod said…

    You're killing me Smalls!!

    ***10 points for whoever knows what movie that's from***

    You're putting her on a pedestal before she earns it. At the end of the day she's a person just like you. A generic greeting always works. And how are you getting WPGC in Delaware? What part of the state you in?

  • At 7:06 PM, Blogger Eb the Celeb said…

    LMAO @ you calling yourself socially retarded...

    and what is this customer cutie song?

  • At 9:12 PM, Blogger Brittany said…

    I'm with everyone else. Just say hello. Step to her on a courtesy level. Not trying to get with her. It will throw her off. Works for me every time. lol

  • At 11:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I so remember the days of being a waitress. When being hit on it, it was never the guys who had a "line" that got my attention. It was more of the ones who spoke to me like they had some sense. A simple, "Thank you, and how is your day going" was appeasing to me.

    Oh! but this one time, this guy was looking at his receipt after I rang him up, and he said "You didn't put anything on this" And I was like "what?" And he repeated himself. And I said "Like what? What am I missing" And he said "Your phone number!" I just about fell over... for some reason, that particular day, that statement was hilarious. I'm laughing out loud just thinking about it now... LOL

  • At 3:56 PM, Blogger JayBee said…

    man say something! totally agree with jarrod. and what customer cutie song?

  • At 6:55 PM, Blogger La said…

    LMFAO@ "socially retarded" No idea why that cracked me up.

    Just talk. You're intelligent. And she's a person. And more than likely, if she's is even marginally attractive, as a woman she's heard just about every line out there. Just talk to her like she's a person. She'll be more receptive to it, and you won't feel the pressure to be anything other than you.

  • At 8:19 PM, Blogger Vdizzle said…

    You don't even ask how her day is going!?!?!?! BOO Chris.

    I'm with Duck, just speak!!

  • At 12:46 AM, Blogger Vdizzle said…

    JARROD.. you're talking about Sandlot. One of the best kiddie movies EVER!!

    Keep your points, I'm getting that on DVD. Lol.

  • At 5:57 PM, Blogger Chris said…

    for the record, there is no song named "Customer Cutie." She has earned her nickname via the Raheem DeVaughn joint "Customer" playing in my head every time I check her out. I did talk to her on Monday, a quick small talk conversation, and she didn't run away or anything, so it was a good look. Now will y'all STOP pickin' on me? LOL

  • At 9:06 PM, Blogger jameil1922 said…

    yes dear. just start there. & lmao @ duck.

  • At 5:24 AM, Blogger Jarrod said…

    V...Game, set and match!


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