The Post Game Show

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

When is enough really enough?

When woman X and I got together one January afternoon, I thought I had at least secured a friend with benefits, something I hated on for the longest time but was ready to get down with in this particular case. A divorced woman with teenage kids who swore she would want another go round, and that worked for me. However, I soon found out with her that age truly is just a number (she said she was 38, but I can't tell anymore). Between the mind games, the false promises and the reverse psychology, tonight I had my fill.

"It's like you're looking for a reason to get rid of me," I said after an argument about her totally ignoring me sometimes and getting my hopes up other times.

"Think what you want to think," was her acid response.

At that point, something clicked. You can't make somebody want you. Especially if you had to jump through hoops of fire to get them to see you in the first place. I figured out one thing about casual hook-ups tonight; it should be left where it is, in that moment in time, that instance where you got what you needed for that moment. And that it takes a certain mindset to leave it where it is. I have to think if I even want that mindset, much less develop it for the sake of getting the goodies.

I've deleted all her phone numbers from my house phone (no cell of course), her contact information on yahoo, and I'm sitting here breathing deeply, convincing myself that I made the right decision in letting her know that she was indeed a waste of my time despite that off-the-chain afternoon we had together in this bed behind me.

Whether my pursuit of all things casual and quick is right or wrong is open for debate, what isn't open for debate is the fact that I do know what I will and will not accept from this point forward. Be real or be gone, that's the new slogan.

As my younger sister used to say "I don't play games; I quit school because of recess." And I start to see the playground overcrowding now. Let me get outta here.


  • At 11:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I Agree age is just a number! I can't tell you how dumb grown ass men could be... (thats another story)

    Well People need to just come out and name their price. Its that simple. If they can't do it aint no reason why they should be caught up in it in the first place...

    ohhhhhh is Chris getting all deep over here?

  • At 6:44 AM, Blogger JayBee said…

    At least you realize that casual sex is not gonna force anything deeper to jumpoff(no pun intended). The challenge of walking away is when the sex is good, as you described. **Religious rant: That's why we shouldn't be having sex before marraige anyway. That way when you get married and have sex you won't know if it's good or bad because you won't have a benchmark to which to compare.**End Rant
    Just make sure you don't get weak a call her again. I know you deleted the numbers/email addresses and whatnot. I've been there before too. Doesn't mean I didn't remember a number or an address.

  • At 8:17 AM, Blogger MP said…

    I'm glad you cut her off. I don't know her story but she doesn't sound like she deserves you. You should never be ignored by somebody you are dealing. Why do people still play games anyway?

  • At 11:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Her loss is another woman's gain. Eff her. No, wait, don't do that anymore. Proud of you for walking away.


  • At 2:14 PM, Blogger Eb the Celeb said…

    maybe she was only just looking for a one night stand and didnt make it known... she definitely should not have been playing with your emotions. She probably is in a situation and wanted to keep your around lingering in case it didnt go right... which is also wrong.

    One thing about the rule of friends with benefits though is that you dont press each other for time... When the schedule align then you get up and keep it moving... but none of the spending time emailing all day or talking on the phone like your in a relationship. The only conversations you should have should be about arranging the next rendezvous and that's all.

    I'm glad you shared this though. We tend to think its always the man who plays the games in this type of situation, and leaving the female wondering.

  • At 8:30 PM, Blogger Vdizzle said…

    Always remember: IF it seems like some bullshit, it prolly is!

    Stop tryna convince yourself otherwise

  • At 11:06 PM, Blogger CNEL said…

    A jumpoff is never a comeup.

    Your expectation has got to be that your time will come, the person will come, and it'll be a real relationship worth investing in.

    On another note...

    "I don't play games; I quit school because of recess."


  • At 8:59 AM, Blogger jameil1922 said…

    that's why friends with benefits is bad for biz. you know you're looking for something more. you know that old saying. can't turn a ** into a housewife. not saying she necessarily was but the transition from jumpoff to more is never smooth. in this sitch she didn't want to make it more. lmao @ natalie. stay strong. YOU CAN DO IT CHRIS!!

  • At 7:35 PM, Blogger Chris said…

    lol, I don't think I'm getting deep D, I just felt like getting that off my chest. And you're right, folks just need to be straight up, things would be less stressful.

    Jay, the funny thing is we only hooked up once. And I mean, she was the one who swore that I gave her what she needed, but I digress. I think I won't be calling her back, especially since I feel like I was made a fool of.

    I wish I knew why folks played games, MP, but it sure is irritating. Thanks for stopping by!

    Nat, I knew you'd approve :)

    I know the rule now, Eb, but I just felt like if it was as good as she said it was, she would've been beating my door down. So much for that theory.

    Yeah Agent, this entire situation was bull.

    CNel, you know I understand, but sometimes, the need for sex just outweighs long term goals. Not saying it's right, but that's what happens to me.

    LOL@that saying. I know Jam, I think I need to at least have a screening process for these types of situations.

  • At 5:18 AM, Blogger Jarrod said…

    I feel you...I guess. I mean I applaud you for having morals, really I do. But you let her get out of pocket...gotta keep the friends with benefits thing more business than pleasure. Damn I just read what I wrote...I sound like a caveman. Ah well...


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