And I got you thinkin' about it, thinkin about it....

"Men want to be a woman's first love. Women want to be a man's last romance." - Oscar Wilde

That quote has been in my head for a minute since I actually read it on a BlackPlanet page over the weekend (yes, I'm still on BP, shut up), and it's got me thinking mad hard about it. I've recited that quote to myself, read it until I'm blue in the face, and for a brother of my complexion, that's no small feat. What does it mean? What was Oscar getting at? And why do I care?

Simply put, women are long term thinkers, at least the good ones are anyway. In a sports-related analogy, women are the patient general managers and coaches who will build through a draft and a minor-league system, which is why they really bemoan the death of true dating. They want to get to know a man inside and out; his likes and dislikes, his quirks, his flaws, his strengths, basically everything short of his blood type and Social Security number. Men, well, we just wanna get inside. Men are the "win now, worry later" GMs and Coaches. Go for what's hot now, what you can get out if it immediately and then worry about what's next when it comes, chemistry and teamwork be damned.

What it means for me is that I kinda-sorta understand why some women employ the friendship defense as opposed to sheer, brutal honesty, which is something I'd rather be hit with than "you seem like a good friend, so let's be friends." As anyone who knows me or has read this blog over the course of two-plus years knows, I absolutely ABHOR male/female friendships. I think it's virtually impossible for a man and woman to be just friends, especially when one side or both sides find eachother physically attractive.

While usually it's a one-way street and turns into a bitter, unrequited love, the rare instances where the attraction is mutual becomes a reason to try for more than friendship and it's usually 50-50 on whether it works or not. I fall into the category of unrequited love often, and believe me, it's no fun.

However, ole Oscar, as my English Lit professor calls him, makes a great point in that quote that women are in it for the long haul most of the time, and that's where the misunderstandings occur. I usually think of women seeking friendship as playing games, being dishonest and a convienient excuse to keep their options (and in my crude thought process, legs) open. Yet, more often than not, there is indeed a process to earning anything above a friendship label with women. That usually entails friendship, but being the win-now GM, I can't stick around long enough for the building process. That's just how I, and most men for that matter, are.

So while we wonder why male and female relationships are taking such a hit these days, reading that quote gave me a general idea of why the situation is what it is right now. While women don't mind waiting before winning their championship, men have to win now like there is no tomorrow.

Then again, since it's already tomorrow in Australia, I guess I need to slow down and try to build towards the chip myself.