The Post Game Show

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Success and my inability to handle it...

I stepped on the scale Friday morning expecting a reasonable amount of weight loss (which is about three to four pounds). During the month of May, I made the hard as hell step to cut back mightily on fried foods and sugar-related goodies, which are of course my prime weaknesses. Eating ham and mustard sandwiches for dinner and overdosing on fruit was simply put the hardest thing I've ever done in my life that didn't have to do with selecting a college, choosing the career of my dreams or deciding whether to tell another chick off in four letter wording or in professional language. Somehow I made it through May unscathed, and walking close to seven miles daily helped as well.

So when the scale notified me that I dropped 10 pounds in the month of May, my jaw hit the floor. "This can't be possible, no way," I thought to myself. So I stepped back on the scale. Same result. Talk about a breakthrough. I've lost 51 pounds total, and I'm at my lowest weight in seven years, along with being only 15 pounds off from one of my goals. So why am I unhappy? Why am I doubting the scale, even though my routine and effort suggests I earned this reward fair and square? The answer probably lies in the fact that I've never really been a positive thinker and expected much even though I've had some pretty cool things happen to me over the course of a few years.

The weight loss is a prime example. I took an interest in dropping weight after weighing myself New Year's Day '06 and seeing three horrifying numbers that I STILL don't feel comfortable repeating as of yet. Then and there, I decided to go ahead and make an effort to get in shape, and even though I've stuck with it for 17 months now, I never really thought I'd lose this much weight and have a realistic shot at reaching my goals. Now that I've made a serious dent in this, it's almost like "I guess I can't say I can't do it anymore." And that's probably what freaks me out. I'm so used to telling myself I can't, especially after that's all other people would tell me in regards to anything I've done, that I usually lose the game before it even starts.

This will definitely be a lightning rod for those of the "I told you so" persuasion, who think confidence is the key to everything. Doesn't mean I fully believe them as of yet, but I guess if I keep dropping weight and accomplishing other goals of importance, I may have to admit that they're right after all.


  • At 8:18 PM, Blogger Duck said…

    First, I had no idea you've lost so much weight since you started and that you're so close to your goal. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

    Second, do I have to pull out Marianne Williamson on you?

    "We ask ourselves -- Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

    Actually, who are we not to be?

    You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people do not feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the Glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone.

    And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others."

    Shine, Chris, shine!

  • At 8:59 PM, Blogger Vdizzle said…

    Yellow cake said it all!! "Who are we NOT to be?"

    Quit being surprised dammit. Now, don't think we all have this super duper confidence.

    Everybody in this industry is nervous. We are just good at faking it like we ain't. It's just as simple as that.

    We fake it. Learn to fake it!

  • At 9:07 PM, Blogger D. Sands said…

    So I guess this means you will take to smacking some chicks in Vegas who dissed you last year.

    Haha nice job.

  • At 3:29 AM, Blogger spchrist said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At 3:29 AM, Blogger spchrist said…

    you said it yourself..."confidence is the key to everything" and when it comes to losing weight you have to believe in yourself that you can get it done.

    Next thing I know you'll be doing commercials

  • At 5:44 PM, Anonymous CNEL said…

    Damn, congrats.

    I've said it to myself, we have to will ourselves to be happy.

    We have to will ourselves to be satisfied with being good enough for ourselves.

    The fact that you set goals and stick to them is admirable, and will help you grow into being the man you want to be.

    Keep doing you.

  • At 5:02 PM, Blogger jameil1922 said…

    a lot of stuff is bullshit but confidence is not. are you not attracted to confident people? its damn near catching. you know i love to say i told you so. I TOLD YOU SO. all that bitter and woe is me hurts no one but you. gotta let it go brotha or it will drag you down with it. make it an everyday goal.

  • At 5:10 PM, Blogger Mademoiselle M said…

    Congrats! This is definitely an accomplishment worth celebrating. I hope you are proud of yourself :)


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