Epiphany
Well, I think it finally sunk in. After years and years of being anti-social, loner-ish, and flat out unwilling to move out of my comfort zone, it's registering with me. I haven't lived life. AT ALL. Tonight, I'm sitting here just randomly listening to most of the songs I have on my computer, and here's a fact about me that might be of some interest to you guys; I can identify memories and where I was at when certain songs and albums were hot. As I ran through my playlists and just started reminiscing on things and time periods that honestly could've been better. I thought about how I had no memories of parties or events that weren't sports-related, no nightmare/blind/great dates, nothing. They really ain't lyin' when they say college is the best time of your life and you should enjoy it. I truly blew my chance.
Of course I can't turn back the hands of time, so that's over and done. Now that I'm on my own and 26 years old, that's my main concern. What can I do NOW to add something different to my life? I honestly don't know.
I've pretty much been hiding behind a computer screen since I was 17, so I really don't know how to carry myself in social situations, and it shows. I've been here in Maryland for a month, and I don't know ANYBODY outside of my office. My reliance on the internet for conversation is typical for me and maddening to others who seem to think I'm funny as hell and great to know. If only I believed that about myself.
I do want to change, I want to be able to look back and say I did something with my life outside of my profession, but I don't know how to go about it. I'm taking suggestions.
Of course I can't turn back the hands of time, so that's over and done. Now that I'm on my own and 26 years old, that's my main concern. What can I do NOW to add something different to my life? I honestly don't know.
I've pretty much been hiding behind a computer screen since I was 17, so I really don't know how to carry myself in social situations, and it shows. I've been here in Maryland for a month, and I don't know ANYBODY outside of my office. My reliance on the internet for conversation is typical for me and maddening to others who seem to think I'm funny as hell and great to know. If only I believed that about myself.
I do want to change, I want to be able to look back and say I did something with my life outside of my profession, but I don't know how to go about it. I'm taking suggestions.
posted by Chris @ 9:42 PM
9 Comments:
At 1:39 AM,
Anonymous said…
hmmm its really cheesy and corny ...it works though ... make a point to introduce yourself to someone new once a week ... someone not in your office ... just a random person and see where it takes you ... Its important to though to remember that your life is yours ... so be proud of what your past was ... cause someone has done all of those great fabulous things in their past and doesnt have any great memories either ... its all about perception!
At 5:17 PM,
Jameil said…
when your coworkers ask you to go out, do it. if they don't ask, say, "what's up for the weekend?" and they'll know you're down for the cause. always say yes, even if it means losing a little sleep, when they ask you to go out. you gotta get outta the house and interact! and if you really think college is the best time of your life, you're outta your mind!! its A good time, but the best? hell no. i don't know anyone who's in their 30s or older who says that. in college you're so unsure of yourself. bah. i categorically reject that.
At 2:34 PM,
CNEL said…
Brave.
That's how I'd describe this post.
I think you did what you did, cause it's what needed to be done.
Don't regret what was, look forward to what will be.
It's crazy we tell people live today like it's your last, and look forward to tomorrow.
Do both.
It's all about changing and growing.
Your best times will be a combination of what you've done and what you have yet to do.
But always remember to do you!
At 9:17 PM,
Unknown said…
I was anti-social my freshman yr but then I grew out of it. I think you should try challenging yourself. I did this and it worked. By challenge I mean try introducing your self to someone or try to interact in someway. The more you challenge yourself you'll begin to get out there. Also just because you didn’t live college up doesn’t mean nothing your still young and your still LIVIN.
At 9:10 PM,
Southerner in Suomi said…
"...I really don't know how to carry myself in social situations."
"I'm funny as hell and great to know."
There you just contradicted yourself. Keep telling yourself the latter and go forth!!!!
At 10:06 PM,
Chris said…
Ms. Cali, I hope you're right about perception. I guess mine is kinda warped because I always measure myself by what others are doing.
Frank, maybe so. I was always told that college is the last time you get to wild out and do some extra shit you can't do as a professional adult, and I felt like I did nothing of th sort at DSU.
CNel, I appreciate the knowledge, man.
Memphiz, AMEN about still living.
Nicky, I said that everyone else thinks I'm funny as hell and great to know. Somehow I don't feel the same way.
At 8:15 AM,
Blu Jewel said…
first timer here. I found this an interesting post because you were so brutally candid about your epiphany and moreover wanting to do something about your situation.
If you're able, try to meet some of the people you talk to online, which will reinforce your social abilities. I completely agree wtih jameil1922's comment and you should consider the suggestion made.
There are no do overs as you know, so try to get out there and make the most of the rest of your life.
At 9:56 PM,
Setta B. said…
In addition to the other suggestions, find an activity that you truly enjoy. As people see you enjoying life, they'll be drawn to you. I bet you'll find that others will start introducing themselves to you. So go out there and volunteer, ice skate, hit the gym or anything.
At 1:45 AM,
Aaron said…
I found a great deal of helpful info here!
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