The Post Game Show

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Ne-Yo Syndrome

Earlier this week, a new reader of my blog had a post about a cat she went to high school with that chose another chick over her because the other chick seemed "purer." Talk about judging a book by its cover, sheesh. Turns out the girl he chose who would eventually become his wife is a stripper and such nowadays. So what does Mr. Man do? Hit up said blog friend through e-mail and declare his love for her, how he was all wrong and that her man better be on his A-game. Weak negroes, I swear.

It actually got me to thinking about a couple of "Do You" situations in my life that actually were never like Ne-Yo's song describes, but were more of a "what if" nature. I think my biggest "What If" definitely was with a girl at DSU who I had a ridiculous crush on, I mean it was so damn obvious, and she really genuinely liked me and cared for me as a friend, and not in that patronizing, annoying, brother-sister frame of mind either. Let's call her "D" to keep it discreet. D was from CT, 5'9, kind of a shade short of caramel, bedroom eyes and one bangin' body...Amazingly, her personality was even more beautiful than her appearance.

We met halfway through my second freshman year, which was her first and only freshman year (I spent six years at Del State, gotta break it down properly, LOL) when we had a PoliSci class together. Apparently my awkwardness wasn't too much of a problem for her as we talked and became cool over the course of the spring semester. She and her roommate came to visit me on a couple of occasions in Warren-Franklin and we just kicked it, talking, laughing, having a good time. She originally wanted to hook me up with said roommate, but roomie was stuck on some dude she was on and off seeing, so that didn't go very far, but D and I remained friends the rest of our time together on campus.

Sadly, that fear that has gripped me for most of my life definitely took hold, and I don't think I hung out with her very often after Spring '03. She pledged SGRho that fall, but didn't let Greek Life change her like most folks do; She still spoke to me when she saw me, would carry on decent conversations and tell me to call her whenever. Did I do it? Of course not. I haven't seen her since she graduated in May of '06, and needless to say if I run into her at homecoming, all those feelings are going to come back. Like, "What if I actually tried to pursue her? What if she liked me on more than a friendship level?" Well Pinky, the world may never know.

What I do know is that missed opportunities, regardless of whether it's dating, professional, educational, whatever, WILL haunt you whether you believe or not. And although I don't think it's cool to wait forever to tell someone how you feel about them, there will always be that nagging question in the back of your mind, no matter how hard you try to play it off.

"What If?"


  • At 10:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What ifs are very tormenting. Gotta let them go. I say this now because I'm talking to myself. I let someone go, who I really wished it could have worked out. The way things were going, I was well in my right to break it off. You make decisions with your head, but the heart torments you for how ever long it deems.

  • At 11:29 AM, Blogger Mizrepresent said…

    I agree, no matter if you get turned down, or not and of course that kinda hurts, at least you let your feelings be known...and a what if, might turn into something special, if not, then you can move on. I had a whatif moment recently and it didn't work in my favor...i still wonder why, but why question the inevitable...gotta roll on.

  • At 1:34 PM, Blogger jameil1922 said…

    what ifs do ya no good. i told you to holla at my soror before you left dsu anyway. represent for the SGRhooooooooooooos!

  • At 8:20 PM, Blogger Brittany said…

    I don't know if I have any what if's moments. I wonder if someone has a what if about me though.

  • At 8:58 PM, Blogger Yasmeen Christian said…

    I have a "Do You" post, too. Love your blog.

  • At 4:22 AM, Blogger Duck said…

    I can't say I have many "what if" moments. All I know is that I try my damnedest to learn from my missteps and make sure to make any mistake just once.

    Don't know if that's related in anyway, but it's four in the morning, so sue me.


  • At 8:51 AM, Blogger JayBee said…

    i say step to her. think about this. you're not with her now so the only thing you stand to lose is uh....nothing. if she's feelin' you she get with you. if it's not the right time for her or she's just not on that with you then at least you'll know. either way you'll have the necessary closure to end the what ifs.

  • At 10:23 AM, Blogger MP said…

    what if's give me nightmares. I have a few but thank God they aren't in regards to relationships. That would drive me crazy!!

  • At 1:56 AM, Blogger Charles said…

    I stay away from the woulda shoulda couldas...cause then you'll end up being a slave to regret...and thats not a place where you wanna be. Trust...cause I've been there. You just gotta learn from past mistakes and move forward hoping that what you've learned you will apply to new situations...then you won't have the what ifs plaguing you anymore.

  • At 12:14 PM, Blogger La said…

    I think we all have a certain number of what ifs that are completely out of our control. The ones that kill us are the ones we know we coulda done something about.

    When is homecoming again? lol

  • At 2:09 PM, Blogger Chris said…

    You make so much sense with that comment anon. I Guess I felt I owed it to myself to at least see if something could've happened. Too bad I didn't.

    At this point Miz, I'd rather be turned down flat then be lied to (entry coming on that in about 15 minutes..) because at least a woman would be honest in saying I'm not what she wants.

    LOL, only you, Jam. Umm but if by chance you go to you ladies' national get-together, I'll give you her name to see if she's there...a brother's gotta have some sorta go-between *wink*

    You know what's funny, Brittany? I never would think that a woman would be like "What If Chris and I could've had something?" I never think of myself as being that dude.

    Thanks for stopping by Yasmeen, and don't be a stranger, I'll be checking you out shortly. more 4 a.m. comments for you. SLEEP! LOL

    As always JB, you're on point. Closure is what I would need from this friendship I shared with her.

    MP, mine are usually always relationship-centered because I know what I want professionally, other than that, not so much.

    Yeah Charles, that's my biggest problem, not learning from mistakes. I'll get it done eventually. Thanks for stopping by and keep on coming through.

    Homecoming is October 18th La, gives me enough time to get myself together physically and hopefully emotionally. It'll be my first time at DSU since I got my degree and hauled ass. Should be interesting.

  • At 7:24 PM, Blogger Eb the Celeb said…

    you are good... I try not to think about those "do you" situations... love that ne-yo song though

  • At 10:29 AM, Blogger Veronica Wright (Hunnie) said…

    Definiteyl agree here.

    Sometimes it's just best to say it. it's better to know the answer then to be tortured by the question even years later.


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