Ne-Yo Syndrome

Earlier this week, a new reader of my blog had a post about a cat she went to high school with that chose another chick over her because the other chick seemed "purer." Talk about judging a book by its cover, sheesh. Turns out the girl he chose who would eventually become his wife is a stripper and such nowadays. So what does Mr. Man do? Hit up said blog friend through e-mail and declare his love for her, how he was all wrong and that her man better be on his A-game. Weak negroes, I swear.

It actually got me to thinking about a couple of "Do You" situations in my life that actually were never like Ne-Yo's song describes, but were more of a "what if" nature. I think my biggest "What If" definitely was with a girl at DSU who I had a ridiculous crush on, I mean it was so damn obvious, and she really genuinely liked me and cared for me as a friend, and not in that patronizing, annoying, brother-sister frame of mind either. Let's call her "D" to keep it discreet. D was from CT, 5'9, kind of a shade short of caramel, bedroom eyes and one bangin' body...Amazingly, her personality was even more beautiful than her appearance.

We met halfway through my second freshman year, which was her first and only freshman year (I spent six years at Del State, gotta break it down properly, LOL) when we had a PoliSci class together. Apparently my awkwardness wasn't too much of a problem for her as we talked and became cool over the course of the spring semester. She and her roommate came to visit me on a couple of occasions in Warren-Franklin and we just kicked it, talking, laughing, having a good time. She originally wanted to hook me up with said roommate, but roomie was stuck on some dude she was on and off seeing, so that didn't go very far, but D and I remained friends the rest of our time together on campus.

Sadly, that fear that has gripped me for most of my life definitely took hold, and I don't think I hung out with her very often after Spring '03. She pledged SGRho that fall, but didn't let Greek Life change her like most folks do; She still spoke to me when she saw me, would carry on decent conversations and tell me to call her whenever. Did I do it? Of course not. I haven't seen her since she graduated in May of '06, and needless to say if I run into her at homecoming, all those feelings are going to come back. Like, "What if I actually tried to pursue her? What if she liked me on more than a friendship level?" Well Pinky, the world may never know.

What I do know is that missed opportunities, regardless of whether it's dating, professional, educational, whatever, WILL haunt you whether you believe or not. And although I don't think it's cool to wait forever to tell someone how you feel about them, there will always be that nagging question in the back of your mind, no matter how hard you try to play it off.

"What If?"