Still a work in progress

As my most recent posts suggest, I've really been in a funk for the longest time and not quite sure how to get out of it, considering the source of what's bothering me and all, but I'm still fighting through it.  I just still hold to that fear that nothing will ever swing in the right direction for me.

2010 is pretty much upon us, which means, by God's good graces, I will be 30 on September 25, 2011. And I don't know if I'll be in any better shape than I am now physically and emotionally. Again, I look at people my age who have families and relationships, and I can't even date regularly.  Frustrating to say the least.  I really wish there was an easy fix, like I could grow another three or four inches, lose about 150 pounds, develop some kind of hardcore or smooth mentality and my life would be SO much easier.  But of course that's not going to happen.

Best I can do physically is try to watch what I eat, keep walking, keep doing sit-ups and push-ups, hopefully sooner rather than later, things will change for the better. I figure the only way I'll have better luck with women is if I completely alter my physical appearance.  Some of you may find it stupid, but I find it real and unfortunately, the way of the world. 

I guess I could stop predicating my happiness on what women think of me and their willingness to do things with me, but I still think it's strange for me to be this late in the game and have the struggles that I do.