Jekyll/Hyde Blues

I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing

Until they got a hold of me...

I opened doors for little old ladies,

I helped the blind to see...

Transitions rarely happen overnight. Good ones force you to be patient and hope that it thoroughly completes itself and at the right time. Bad ones usually are the ones that move the fastest, but you still have time to stop it if necessary. 

Needless to say I failed to stop my transition, to quote Spongebob Squarepants, "from good noodle to bad egg." Not as an overall detriment to society by any means, but my social graces are non-existent and the situation with women seem to get worse instead of better. 

I got no friends 'cause they read the papers

They can't be seen with me

And I'm gettin' real shot down

And I'm feelin' mean...

There was a time when the words used to describe me were "respectful," "polite," "well-mannered," "well-behaved" and probably the one word I hated to be describe as maybe even more than my weight, "sweet." I was over being sweet by the middle of my second year at Del State. I had learned in two semesters of living on campus that women weren't in the market for "sweet" guys.  There, I said it. The last time I classified myself as a nice guy, LeBron James didn't have his Hummer, there was no Iraq war and Jay's Second Blueprint banged all over campus. 

No more Mr. Nice Guy

No more Mr. Squeaky Clean

No more Mr. Nice Guy

They say he's sick, obscene...

I figured that in order to at least get some positive attention, I shouldn't ask a girl how she's doing, shouldn't show too much emotion (HA! That didn't work out very well) and I shouldn't try to be interested in them because they almost thrive on being ignored. Somewhere along the way when that didn't work out, bitterness set in, and I found myself dogging women every chance and place I had room to do so. Forget my desires and wants, my ability to even carry on a decent conversation with a woman is null and void.

But what's crazy is, when I think about when I was a young and impressionable sort, one who thought of women as all being queens and being better than me and that I'd be eternally grateful to be a small part of their world, I gag. I'm embarrassed that I was such a brown-noser. Maybe that part in the "Keep ya head up" vid when Pac is admonishing his partners for catcalling Jada Pinkett Smith went to my head, who knows? But I definitely didn't want to turn out like this. Now as long as I'm allowed to breathe, I'm sure I can change, but this transition is going to take a long time to occur. I just hope it's not too late.