The Struggle Continues...
You ever felt totally down about it all, no matter what could possibly be going right in your life? I'm definitely going through one of those stretches where I find myself feeling sad, depressed, lonely, annoyed, pissed off and irritated. Those feelings rotate amongst each other and happy seems to be on the outside looking in, or locked away in a cage, whichever you prefer.
I guess maybe I just haven't really solved a lot of problems and situations that make me feel the way I do and that's probably why these feelings hit me all at once. I just don't know. Yesterday I was driving home from the office and all of a sudden, this feeling of sadness just hit me and I was down for a while until I had to go to my evening appointment - or at least I did my best to not show what I was feeling. It was so weird and so scary, I just couldn't figure out why.
I'm really worried about this because I really shouldn't be this upset. I'm losing weight (I'm about 20-25 pounds away from one of my main goals), I still enjoy fooling around with my laptop (one toy that'll probably never get old) and I'm still employed and still able to maintain my bills and live on my own. Those are things people would kill to be excited about and have going for them. For me, it's nice, but it still doesn't take away the feelings of being absolutely lame and not of any real value to anybody else.
It probably doesn't help that I have no friends or anyone to talk to where I live and most of my friends and family are almost 200 miles to the north of me. Or I could just do a better job of keeping in contact. Yet and still, I don't know if anybody really wants to hear my problems and frustrations. Maybe that's what this here blog is for.
I'll keep fighting though. Keep working hard at losing this weight, keep doing things that I like to do and hopefully things will change. Because I really don't like feeling as bad as I do.
I guess maybe I just haven't really solved a lot of problems and situations that make me feel the way I do and that's probably why these feelings hit me all at once. I just don't know. Yesterday I was driving home from the office and all of a sudden, this feeling of sadness just hit me and I was down for a while until I had to go to my evening appointment - or at least I did my best to not show what I was feeling. It was so weird and so scary, I just couldn't figure out why.
I'm really worried about this because I really shouldn't be this upset. I'm losing weight (I'm about 20-25 pounds away from one of my main goals), I still enjoy fooling around with my laptop (one toy that'll probably never get old) and I'm still employed and still able to maintain my bills and live on my own. Those are things people would kill to be excited about and have going for them. For me, it's nice, but it still doesn't take away the feelings of being absolutely lame and not of any real value to anybody else.
It probably doesn't help that I have no friends or anyone to talk to where I live and most of my friends and family are almost 200 miles to the north of me. Or I could just do a better job of keeping in contact. Yet and still, I don't know if anybody really wants to hear my problems and frustrations. Maybe that's what this here blog is for.
I'll keep fighting though. Keep working hard at losing this weight, keep doing things that I like to do and hopefully things will change. Because I really don't like feeling as bad as I do.
posted by Chris @ 2:58 PM
2 Comments:
At 11:08 PM,
Anonymous said…
I'm sorry that you are struggling. Have you ever thought about talking to someone, as in a professional? I encourage everyone to consider therapy. It was one of the best things that I've ever done for myself. And yes, blogging can be a good release if you choose to write it all down. Wishing you the best.
At 11:41 AM,
Veronica said…
Forget happy--it's fleeting and ephemeral. Find JOY! Being HAPPy is a feeling that comes based on what's HAPPening in your life. It's circumstantial. Find joy and hold on to it because no matter what you'll always have that in your life no matter the circumstance
Post a Comment
<< Home