The Post Game Show

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Sunday Thoughts

It's starting to get hot, and I don't have summer clothes the first. I covered a softball tournament yesterday with a gray polo and black jeans on. Y'all, I was sweating like R. Kelly at a debutante ball. I really need to save some money just for clothes, seeing as most of my money is going to go to a very important situation (can't talk about it too openly, there are spies, you know? lol) that needs to be taken care of by the end of July.

I'm a little annoyed at the scrutiny our first lady Michelle Obama is being subjected to. Iman, who was last seen kissing Michael Jackson before his 956th nose job in the Remember the Time video, said that Barack's better half was "No great beauty." She's entitled to her opinion, but something I saw on a message board ticked me off when brothers were saying that she wasn't anything to get excited over.

Now, as much as we (yes, I include myself in the group) complain about the lack of good women out here, are we really going to judge a woman of Mrs. Obama's credentials, qualities and values on some silly standard of physical appearance? Whatever. If women like Michelle Obama were in great number, we'd all be going to the bathroom on ourselves to get five minutes of their time. Oh well, that's why the Prez put a ring on it...and they're going to revive Black Love, one photo op at a time. And for the record, I see nothing wrong with a 6-foot-tall black woman as stylish and well-put together as Mrs. Obama is - I think she's fine, literally and figuratively.

Speaking of complaints about women, I'm in the middle of what I call "The Sherman Klump/Buddy Love internet experiment." Laugh if you must, but I've been on BlackPlanet for nine years, which is where many, if not all of my mishaps with women occur. I've jokingly said before I would make a false page, just to see what would occur.

I took about 100 pounds or so off my weight, added four inches in height, threw in some North Jersey slang in my messages, and within six hours, four women wanted to talk to me on the phone, and another said "stop the small talk - do you want to [hook up] or what?" It's hilarious and sad at the same time. Although I did use a well-worn internet site as a test case, it proves to some measure that my feelings of women being all about physical appearance and slanted in their views of how a man should talk, think and act are indeed not that far off.

I need a doctor's office scale. You know, the ones with the sliding columns? I last weighed myself February 6th at the local college, and I was at 316 pounds, which was before I started doing 600 sit-ups a day and REALLY turned on the jets in terms of eating normally and healthy. I'm so desperate to see where I am number-wise, it's ridiculous. But by the loose feeling in my clothes and the speed with which I walk (actually jogging now), I'd like to think I'm doing quite well.

I wish I would rain all spring and throughout the first half of summer. Yeah, I said it. It would make things simpler for me as I start moving to the next phase in my life, but it's never that easy. It's not supposed to be anyway. So I'll just suck it up to the best of my ability and try to find other ways to keep myself happy and focused until I'm ready to take care of business for real.

President Obama needs to ban the Stanky Leg. That is all.

Y'all remember the jailbait waitress? Why is she halfway flirting with a brother now? Oh, the hilarity. If she were indeed over 18, I wouldn't be complaining, but I guess that's pretty much the story of my life. I feel more comfortable talking to females I can't have (and considering I'm still on BlackPlanet, women I SHOULDN'T be dealing with at all), instead of approaching women who have it together. Ugh.

A dog (might've been a pit, not sure) stared at me yesterday through the tops of his eyes with his head low and I literally got a chill up and down my spine. Same thing happened to me Mother's Day when I returned from Wilmington (spending time with family and friends was GREAT, by the way) and there was this cat sitting on top of the community mailbox and I swore the mangy bastard's eyes GLOWED. This is why a brother is SO not "One with nature."

Hope everyone has a great week coming up!


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