Single and not-so ready to mingle
I can hear the wiser generation rebutting my concerns with the cliched "awww hell, you're young, you have plenty of time," but contrary to popular belief, not every guy under 35 is looking to wear a permanent groove in his mattress with different lady companions every night. Granted, sex itself is probably one of the best sinus-clearing and cardio-enhancing excersises known to humankind, it's really pointless unless you have a connection with the person you're sharing your body with, but that's another story altogether.
I feel like that to not be dating, or even having the ability to at my age is somewhat embarrassing and a really telling commentary on my social life-slash-self esteem. Where the esteem comes in is of course my concerns about my visual presentation, or lackthereof. What is the problem, you ask? Simple. I'm a big man. Surely you didn't think these witty and entertaining thoughts could come from someone who weighed 165 pounds, did you?
Mind you, I've never pretended to be something I'm not. Could you imagine a former high school defensive lineman walking around in a sleeveless wife beater? Didn't think so. I admit freely that I am a chubby dude, almost to the point of apologizing for it. It's frustrating to think that women won't look beyond the outer appearance to find out about the content of a man's character, because chances are while I'm not going to win any bodybuilding contests anytime soon, I can surely make you laugh, converse about a gang of subjects, and just be a good man in general. Hey, some good points. Maybe my self-confidence isn't so shot after all.
And how that ties into my social life is that I'm pitifully timid when it comes to striking up conversations with women. My game is unique...I have none. I rarely look a girl in the eye when I'm talking, and that's the easiest way to turn a woman off my older sister once told me. I have this hellified notion that a girl is going to be like "why are you looking at me?" Yeah, very silly, I know. I guess this is self-evaulation in a roundabout way, but I do know that it would help if ladies met me halfway instead of me going the full 100 yards down the field on my own.