Yeah, that's right. I'm going there tonight. To quote the esteemed Terrell Owens, "Get your popcorn ready, it's gonna be a show."
So as I was absent the entire month of February (it's just so short, but thank God because Spring is coming), I may as well go ahead and dive all the way in, or in March parlance, come in like a Lion. This is my betrayal of a previous stance saying that I wouldn't blog about certain subjects anymore, but whatever. Enough is enough.
The talk of the black internet world - and in some cases, beyond - is a new book by Jimi Izrael called "The Denzel Principle." While honestly not a fan of Mr. Izrael's, I certainly have a level of empathy for him as he is being lambasted all over the internet as a bitter woman-hating clown for even writing this book, which I haven't read yet and might not (balling on a budget as it stands).
I empathize with Mr. Izrael because I am one of the bitter ones. Yep, full disclosure right now. I've dealt with more disrespectful, cruel, disingenious, bad-intentioned, mean-spirited tripe from women than this here box will allow me to talk about in full. As I've said before, I don't think of myself a special character because I have a degree/career-focused gig/never been in trouble with the law, but I'm tired of being disrespected by women because I don't fit the description of the dude who soaks their panties.
While Mr. Izrael's focus is clearly on black women, I'm not one of to just say that this is a black problem. I'll use one of my recent mishaps as an example.
On a free dating website, I got this really random fawning message from a 24-year old white woman, saying that I was cute, let's talk, looking for someone to see down here, XYZ. Now, normally white women do not do it for me. In spite of all I've dealt with, I remain pretty much pro-black love (although this blog entry might suggest otherwise), but I decided "why not?"
After a few weeks of chatting, I pretty much realize through clues that she's looking for a sucker. Clue 1) she's still banging her ex. Clue 2) using depression and me allegedly making her cry cards when I say I'm not interested in being someone's girlfriend with a penis. Clue 3) An e-mail that accuses me of being selfish.
So no, I'm not saying that only Black women are capable of manipulation and b.s. - I'm saying ALL women are. Equal Opportunity Users.
So yes, I am bitter, because I get treated so poorly for being nothing but myself. In case you can't tell by the picture in the upper right hand corner, I'm not 6'3, 180 pounds, lightskinned, my voice isn't Barry White-esque and I don't have any unique hairstyles to speak of. If anything, that pic is a bad hair day because I usually get my scalp cut super close to the skin.
So with that in mind, women look at me as some sort of hapless moron, too glad to be close enough to a woman without her laughing at me that I'll accept anything handed to me. Then when I turn out to be a man with common sense, and - like most men - a basic desire to not be emasculated by false friendships, I become everything but a child of God and a misogynist who needs counseling. Which is funny because last time I checked I'm a lot smarter than any of these women who try to run the most elementary game on me. I might be a lot of things, but out of my mind is certainly not one of them.
And here's why I write this post with a heightened level of fear and uneasiness in my heart, even though I shouldn't have to feel that way - I know this is going to offend women who I am friends with. Many of the women who haven't infuriated me or tried to play me for a fool and I have had numerous conversations about my quandry, without much of a resolution, to no fault of theirs. It's not unsual for me to have a pretty good conversation with one of them in the day and by nightfall have some woman tell me she's not interested in sex even though she clearly has wall postings and pictures that suggest otherwise.
My friends will be mad because they are, of course women. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "so that's what you think of me?"
"No," I respond defensively.
"Then all women aren't the same."
Maybe not, but there comes a time in every man's life (especially this man, who is watching his peers and childhood friends tie the knot and raise families at a lightning quick pace) where he gets tired of being nothing to no one.
And what makes it worse is I signed up for the new wave honesty box Formspring (http://formspring.me/CJStarchild
) and had an anonymous question that a woman friend posed to me that I'm intelligent, funny and a good friend, but a relationship with me would be difficult.
It wouldn't be difficult if I knew someone liked me. It wouldn't be difficult if somebody cared. It wouldn't be difficult if someone accepted me for who I am instead of belittling me for what I'm not. But of course, it was anonymous, so I'll never know who allegedly liked me until they were turned off by my attitude toward women. Wouldn't you be mad if EVERYONE of the gender of your attraction treated you like absolute garbage? Ghandi said turn the other cheek, but both have been slapped senseless.
Oh well, maybe I've alienated some people with this post, but it was something that needed to be said. I don't agree with Jimi Izrael or his book, but I understand where he's coming from. I'll never judge someone else's journey because God knows mine has been a rough one. Anyone looking down at me should try it some time.