It's rare that I get serious on The Post Game Show, but when I do, I like to think it's beneficial to my faithful readers (the six or seven that are here, lol), as well as myself. I saw a blurb about Black America's favorite madame, Karrine Steffans, working on her next published work. She's calling it the Vixen Manual, and she says it'll be designed to teach women how to think more like men in order to keep their relationships going sans emotion.
Now while it's laughable to some that a woman with as much dirty laundry as Karrine continues sell books and things of that nature, I personally feel like we've created this monster. The we I speak of? My male compatriots. Our need to be dominant and wanted and desired has come back to bite us in the ass courtesy of a woman who is most famous for blowing male members and now is attempting to blow minds.
Whether the latter ever happens remains to be seen. However, as trashy, promiscuous, professional victim-like, trifling and shameless her actions maybe in our eyes, she's achieved some measure of victory for herself and other women who get trapped by dudes flashing material things to get the attention of the fairer sex, that victory being that we're talking about her. And if we're smart, we'll re-evaluate our attitudes and our actions towards women before more women like Karrine Steffans and Carmen Bryan (Nas' BM and sidepiece to Jay-Z and Allen Iverson) are emboldened to put cats on blast for their discrepancies.
As someone who has a reputation of being, in the words of Jameil, a "He-Man Woman-Hater," this is totally out of character for me to even try to understand why a woman who sold her body for profit has done so, let alone put the onus on my gender for her behavior. However, as I evolve and develop as a human being, I've learned that there are indeed two sides to every story. Men have ours (she's a snitch, a mad whore, she's out for money, etc.), and women have theirs. And it's simply this; offer us love and affection more than money and cars and maybe we won't be superficial and shallow beings. *Allows 15 minutes for those who know me to pick their jaws up off the floor and regain consciousness*
After 26 years of being a man, I can attest to it better than anybody else. We insecure. MAD insecure. A man who's about his business, professionally, socially or otherwise really doesn't have to resort to "oh, look at how much money I make, look at my ride, look at the jewels that'll blind you if you step too close, 'cause I'm that ni...negro!" Hey, the NAACP buried it, right? However, since most of us suffer from a strange inferiority complex with women, we go out of our way to envelope ourselves in materialistic and commercial trappings to project this image of being, well...a boss, hoping that it'll attract the prettiest women and have them fall under our spell so the drawers can be had.
Guarantee you that's what 100% of the rappers/singers/athletes/actors thought when the word about this dynamic server of fellatio nicknamed "Superhead" spread around the industry. "Damn, if I floss it right, I can get the Hoover treatment!" Not knowing that while she was being passed around like a joint, it started to sink in with her that this lifestyle sucks and that the same dudes that were tricking for her skills would dump her when someone badder and freakier came along (although since I've seen the vid with Mr. Marcus, I don't see how that can be possible.). She wised up, put dudes on blast, and now we have to deal with her being the Oprah Winfrey of jump-off land. This wouldn't happen if we as men as got wise to what real woman want; to be loved, adored and protected and treated like more than a pit stop for penis.
I know I'm not saying anything new, I'm just having a personal moment of clarity as to why there's such a tremendous gulf between men and women in terms of dealing with each other. We truly don't know how to talk to, treat or act around each other anymore. Men think women are all about the money, women think men don't know a damn thing about stepping to a woman so they do become all about the money, and as a result, our children are going to grow up hating each other and won't have the faintest idea why.
So what is going to take, in my opinion, for men and women to at least meet one another halfway? Hmmm....
Men have to start being honest all the time. We have it in us, we just choose not to use it because it's easier to deceive a woman into giving it up. Do what I do. Tell a girl that you've got a jonesin for some va-jay-jay. If she says no, that's fine. There maybe two or three girls who are down for the casual thing. If you really do care about a woman, you'll treat her as a woman and not as the J-O. The sooner we start treating the real decent women like real decent women, the less chances they become the atypical "Good girls gone bad," and the better chances we have of meeting a woman suitable to spend the rest of our lives with, have kids, and so on so on so forth.
Ladies, you have responsibilities in this as well. It sounds simple, but it definitely requires some effort. Hold us to a higher standard morally, mentally and emotionally. I'm not saying get with a dude on section 8 or living in his mama's basement. But if he is making a conscious effort to better himself, and he treats you right, respects you, makes you warm when he walks into the room, don't forsake that feeling for a wolf in Mercedes' clothing. Nine times out of 10 it ain't worth it.
So while Karrine Steffans is definitely milking her 15 minutes of fame for all it's worth, she'll end up contributing to a much larger discussion of how men and women treat each other and how it must change if we're ever going to be on the same page again. And no amount of book sales can make up for that accidental discovery.