Quick Little Check-In

*walks up to the mic, taps mic, gets feedback, clears throat*

DSU 24
Hampton 17

Carry on.

It's a Different World, Then Where Ya Come From!

Instead of Sunday May 20th, it was Saturday, September 22nd. Instead of the dress code consisting my trusty white dress shirt, black dress pants and versatile Big N Tall shoes, it was my Negro league T, black jeans and my done for New Balances, which I finally got rid of Monday. Instead of me walking across a aluminum stage/platform singing "Hail Alma Mater," I rode Bonnie down Delaware Avenue to the strains of my new theme song; "Like we always do at this time, I go for mine, I got to shine...."

Sadly, I did not pick up this long-dreamed of piece of paper from our president, who I've longed to tell about himself for a minute. My moment of truth came from the polite, yet hood postal clerk said, "here you are sir, that looks really important." "It is," I said with an ear to ear, 32 on display grin as I walked out of the post office. I carefully opened the envelope to see my Bachelor of Arts Degree in Mass Communications from Delaware State University conferred to one Christopher James Stevens.

While it certainly wasn't the fairytale ending I had hoped for when I entered DSU in the fall of 2001, it was still the finale, period. And as I walked back to Bonnie, smiling and wondering if tears were going to come, I realized that I had done it. I had earned a degree from an accredited institution of high learning. An HBCU to boot. The pride I feel speaking, thinking, feeling, even typing that four-letter acronym is indescribable. Which is why this entry is about the importance of our schools and the titles we carry as alumni.

For those who aren't familiar with the changes taking place at Delaware State, our president, Dr. Allen L. Sessoms, believes that in order for Delaware State to grow and prosper as a University, the HBCU tradition should be cast aside in the name of diversity. As he once told our student newspaper in his first year on the job, "the only color I care about is green." He's gone out of his way to prove this fact as the majority of new hires at DSU have been people that don't exactly look like you and me. While the student population remains largely black (81 percent as of '05-'06 enrollment numbers), it still speaks to a gentrification effort at a school that has largely been known as one for African-American kids who weren't great students, but worked hard enough to go to school and thrive at Delaware State. I feel that those kids are going to get lost in the shuffle if one less option is taken away from them like this administration is trying to do. How do I know these kids can thrive if given the opportunity? Simple. I was one of them.

While my natural intelligence astounded and thrilled teachers from Kindergarten through 6th grade, letting it carry me through junior and senior high school was not an option at all, and my grades struggled. I graduated from Howard High School of Technology in 1999 with a GPA that wouldn't even be good enough for R. Kelly's school of songwriting. However after 2 solid years at Del Tech, which helped me find myself, I was able to get my low-GPA having ass into DSU and become the journalistic tour de force I'm on my way to being.

Personally, that's one of the things I believe Historically Black College and Universities have always been about; if you want help and you want to learn, you've got a home here. We don't have to be rocket scientists to see that it's an unequal playing field. While our schools are forced to accept more non-black students, the enrollment of African American students at white institutions has either remained the same or even gone down. And those numbers were never large to begin with. The black student population at the University of Delaware? 6 percent. Yes, 1,2,3,4,5,6.

While no one is saying our kids should exclusively be binded to attending HBCUs, why take that option away from the ones that want to attend? If Jimmy Joe or Mary Ann can rely on their parents' connects to get into Stanford, Miami (FL), Penn, etc., why are we making room for them at our schools that they don't know about, don't care for, and let's be real, possibly not welcome? No one can convince me that the average white kid knows about the rich tradition and history of Howard, Hampton, Spelman, Morehouse, Tennessee State, Tuskegee, et al. Racist? Your opinion. Truth? Can't argue that.

This is why it's important for us as newly-minted, or even rusty with some nicks in it alumni to speak up, stand up for and be proud of our schools and become successful so that black kids can see if you want to go to school there are places for you where you can feel comfortable, not just be a barcode number, and THRIVE while learning about our history and being around people just like you. White America has had that from beginning. We've only had it for 150 years. We can't let it be taken away from us. Not when we've still got so much greatness coming in the future.

So while I look at my degree with pride and a sense of relief knowing the college chapter of my life is over, a new one is just beginning; HBCU alumni. And I take it very seriously. We all should.

Post Game Notes

Sure, I'd love to focus on just one thing, but there's so much going on that I have to give you a summary in quick form, so enjoy it as it goes along.

That situation I touched on in my last entry? It was resolved. A bunch of confusion is what happened between me and that girl, and we did *ahem* go one more round before she went back home on Wednesday. However, I'm still learning to let a woman breathe, just for future reference.

My Bachelor of Arts Degree in Mass Communications was waiting for me at the post office yesterday, so I went and got it, and I can't stop looking at it. As Jameil said yesterday, I'm officially "HBCU Alumni." There's a certain amount of pride and responsibility that comes with that title, and I'll probably get more into that in a later entry.

Am I wrong for being annoyed when women who couldn't be bothered with me prior to my weight loss all of a sudden want to talk to me and feign interest in me? I'm sorry, but I'm the same person now that I'm between 280 and 290 pounds as I was when I was 365 pounds (yes, I finally feel comfortable giving my readership numbers, lol) and for chicks to randomly spark conversation when I wasn't worth their time before is shallow, immature and downright phony. *Deep breath* Glad that's out of the way.

I need to step my Ten95 entry game up, especially after one of the more talented writers of our clique shouted me out for a feature story that was published last week in the Wilmington News Journal. Go there if you want an update on my freelance travels, because it WILL be coming soon (probably when I get back from walking this evening).

I need to get back on track with my eating and exercising before I let these great gains (or losses in this case) slip away. It's only been a three week stretch, but that's three weeks too long. Regardless of me working at night or not, I'm going to discipline myself once again and keep moving in the right direction.

As usual, real entry to come soon, but this update should hold you guys over, shouldn't it? :)

A lesson learned or "I've gotta breathe!"

Hi, my name is Chris, and I'm an impatient-a-holic. *Group says cheerfully* Hi Chris! I figured out this weekend that being impatient, pushy and overbearing, or "thirsty" as my generation calls it, is not a good look.

To set up the story, one my two best friends lost his grandmother this week, so naturally like I did with our mutual best friend (who buried his father on Tuesday), I made my way over to his crib to offer my support and condolences without hesitation. Got to meet members of his family before, including this particular cousin of his, who's a few years older than us. She was kinda flirting with me...o.k., groping and fondling my entire being while her sister was saying I was being molested. Well, I'm a grown ass man and enjoyed it, so much that I got bold and tried to see if she was down for more. Well, I got my answer this morning. The answer was yes. Yes, on a Sunday, yes, not in the most ideal of circumstances, we did *ahem* grown things (although my fellow blogger Agent Ness has no problems with the blow-by-blow description, I'm not that bold yet, LOL). So when she said she wanted something of a round two tonight, but she had to visit her dad, I literally blew her phone up like crazy until now, and I just caught myself like "damn, I'm pressed." My boy, who had no problems with me and his cousin getting to know each other in the physical sense told me when we were hanging out after the event to "NOT be on top of a woman. They hate that shit." Boy, do I know that now. I guess she saw the number and directed my black ass straight to the voice mail. Ouch.

I guess after all my obvious rants about women not being worth a damn and me condemning them to be nothing more than promiscuous, shallow and immature sex objects, I find myself tonight for the first time in my life thinking about how I need to change as well in order to have healthier relationships with the fairer sex. Step one is patience, something I sorely lack.

When I usually talk to females, I need an answer on how they see me, I need things to be black and white, no in between feelings or thoughts. And it's not like I even give them time, like maybe a day or two before I start trying to advance things. Now I know that doesn't make any sense, definitely not smooth behavior. But I guess it's just that I've had so many struggles with seeing myself as someone of considerable importance that I almost need affection and attention from women to validate me. And I know it shouldn't be that way.

Yet and still when a woman doesn't insult me and actually seems interested in conversing and hanging out with me, I take it as a sign that there could be more there, and that's not always the case. I never really played dumb about why most women went off into the night screaming and running after coming in contact with me, but I always denied that it was my fault. I used to say "they just can't handle someone who's upfront." Now I know that I'm WAY TOO UPFRONT, lol, and that I need to settle my nerves and let nature takes it course.

But how do I do that? How do I stop myself from thinking too hard when I really don't know any other way to process things? How do I stop myself from thinking sex is a sure-fire way that a woman is into me? How I develop a cool streak, one that allows me to be patient and play along with whatever plans women have for me? How can I convince myself that even if women don't throw their underwear at or pledge their undying love for me, that I'm still an intelligent, focused, goal-oriented man with a great sense of humor that is worth that and so much more?

A ton a questions, not a lot of answers. But today's events are definitely the first step in answering these questions so I don't make these mistakes anymore.

Keeping your head above water, making a wave if you can.....

Since Jameil and Vanessa want my black card over my hatred of Mac N' Cheese, I figured I'd recite a Good Times theme lyric to keep them off my back for a minute. It also fits my current state of existence, as I'm finally starting to get some work in my field and hopefully these part-time assignments will lead to something permanent soon. I can't stay here too much longer or else there's going to be trouble. My days of sitting here all day are coming to an end and while it sucks to be on the go, it's better than wondering when, if ever, I'll break through in journalism. I guess I've taken the bull by the horns so to speak, and right now stringing is better than nothing.

In other news, women...*sigh* why must I always end up with some strange scenario that involves a woman wanting to be my friend or talking about how it's, in facebook parlance, "complicated," meaning they're "single" but they can't let some one go. God help me.

Car still running good, still happy with that, still doing everything I can to survive. Which is all we can do. That's all I got, sorry, LOL...maybe I'll be inspired to do something when I'm not running around all crazy. Dueces!

Adventures in Bonneville

A clear blue sky, one chilly Delaware morning and four pre-set radio stations set the scene for some early morning cruising, which I just got back in from doing. My main purpose was to go to my usual quarter scale at Dover Mall in the First State's capital (I only lost two tenths of a pound this month, ACK!) and to see if my new thing was up for the task of cruising. When I lost my beloved 1994 Mitsubishi Diamante, named "Champ" to brake problems shortly after my grandma's funeral, and then to the junkyard that December, I knew I would have another car eventually, but I never thought I'd be blessed enough to get something as bad ass as the new lady in my life, a 1992 Pontiac Bonneville SE.

She's built like a brickhouse, she hugs the road, turns it on when I need her too, and she's got a lot of junk in the trunk. My kinda girl. Seriously, I really enjoy having a car again just for aimless missions like the one I went on this morning, or yesterday evening's futile attempt to find Tatnall School, where my high school alma mater (Howard High School of Technology: YOU SHOULDA BEEN A WILDCAT!) plays its football season opener next Friday. My best friend, a rising politician who swears he knows New Castle County frontwards and backwards, damn near took me to Kennett Square, PA trying to find this place, but since we were unsuccessful, I'll MapQuest it and go from there.

Hopefully this car will get me through my freelance period here in DE and maybe I can upgrade once I get a full-time gig as a sports writer. Right now after about three days of cruising, I don't have much bad to say about this car. It's truly up to me to maintain it and keep it running right for the time that I have it. That means I might want to see about some brake pads now, LOL....

The car is fun to have because the system bangs (even though it still has a cassette player, which makes me cringe), and slowin' it down coming around the corner blasting "Shawty" by Plies and T-Pain is a good look. Hopefully pictures will be coming soon, especially since I'm still looking pretty damn good myself (finally got a hair cut after five months yesterday), so be on the look out for the pictures of me and my new friend with road benefits. Hey, I had to give you guys some kind of real entry, or you'd kill me :) Happy Labor Day weekend!